As I watched the news today about the world’s top people behaving badly, the terrorists who bombed part of the transit system in London, I couldn’t help but think of England’s #1 white trash royalty of all time, and what she would have done in retaliation. That’s right, folks, I’m talking about Miss Anne Boleyn. I see her as the Sammy Joe of Henry the VIII’s lair.
If I sound like I’m making light of what happened today, I’m sorry. It was heinous, and I hope all responsible will spend eternity in hell being girlfriends to the entire Gestapo (who are hopefully playing girlfriends to some nasty Huns). Just imagine, though, if Anne Boleyn was on the throne in today’s England. Good God, she’d have a hell of a hissy fit. There would be no Middle East when this chick got through. In fact, there might not be any men left, um, except for rich world leaders who could advance her cause.
What our side needs right now is some good old fashion white trash to let loose the hounds of hell on some terrorists ass. W is just a redneck with a penchant for marketing. I’m talking about pure white trash, the kind that says, “I don’t know why my kids can’t behave. Sure, I swat them with a hair brush when they act up, but damn, I give them food twice a day. What the hell is their problem?”
I’m not saying let’s start a war in Iraq for fake WMD. We did that. England supported us, and look where it got them. Enough is enough. Terrorists are jackasses with some nutty damn beliefs and someone needs to shake them good and hard and say, “have a cocktail and lighten the f*&k up.” No, I’m just kidding. We should hit them over the head with a shovel and dump their sorry selves in the Thames. That’s what Sammy Joe would have done. Anne, on the other hand, would probably prefer a good old-fashioned beheading. She has some demons to wrestle. And thanks to these terrorists, we all do.
