I haven't blogged in a while, not since the death of our cat Liza. Since Miss Manners has not tackled the question of how long one appropriately mourns the loss of a beloved pet, I thought I'd give the blog a rest. But I think I'm back, especially as death is a time for reflection, and during this time, I have reflected a lot and come up with a few things I think are true:
1) My cat Sammy Davis, Jr does not miss his sister Liza, but he does notice that she's gone, therefore, it makes him nervous. What's next? He's thinking. "Death for Sammy?" No fear, kitty, but please, stop waking Mommy and Daddy up at 5:00am. We are not farmers and you do not need to eat that early.
2) On a recent trip to Denver, I realized that Boulder, which is smaller, has more energy. You do not have to be a big city to have energy. Denver, listen up: cities should not be clean, nor should its citizens be so darn friendly. It's Denver, not Mayberry. I had the same problem with Vancouver this summer. Give me grit, a few homeless people, some nasty hookers on the street corner, and I'm happy. That's why I love LA. Angry drivers, dirty streets, whores (I'm talking about the wannabe actors/screenwiriters/producers/directors/etc), hookers and, of course, agents: what's not to love -- or write about? Of course, Boulder has none of those things, but it has good bars every ten feet, which is the number one rule for what makes a city good.
3) George W. Bush still sucks, and instead of everyone who voted for him apologizing to me for ruining the country, I feel they need to slit their damn wrist. You voted for Bush? You suck, buddy. You suck. End of story, go away.
4) Real Estate agents are the new lawyers. We have our house for sale in Vegas and these people are not interested in working for their money. They want a cookie-cutter approach to real estate: your white trash neighbor's house is worth x, therefore your house is worth the same. Lot size, location, upgrades, etc just don't count anymore. If your neighbor goes into foreclosure, watch out, you just lost 100k on your house and the real estate agents are like lemmings jumping off the deep discount cliff.
5) Why does no one talk about Condoleeza Rice's odd overbite? We talk about W's eyes, Dick's heart, why not Condi's unfortunate smile? Huh?
6) People who are trashy never know they are trashy. God needs to put this in the bible and make it an 11th Commandment.
Okay, that's it till I feel like ranting about something new. Probably George W, no doubt.
