There has been much buzz lately about how two-thirds of Americans believe that Beelzebub exists. I can see why they would think this. How else do you explain the transformation of America’s once-sweetheart, Miss Lindsey Lohan. Seriously, since it’s Sunday, let’s talk religion, or more specifically,that old horn-headed beast. No, not Dick Cheney. Satan!
In a way, Satan is the new Poster Boy for the Conservatives. They lob him as a metaphorical grenade when attacking their enemies. Satan takes the heat for everything the far right opposes, from the UN to hobags in Hollywood. W refers to the Axis of Evil, and even I, Binx, refer to the Venetian Resort Hotel and Casino where I once worked as the Dark Tower.
My cousin, a gun toting, God-fearing Southerner (and proud of it) once asked me if I believed in Satan. I think she was afraid for my soul, as I don’t go to church and often roll my eyes whenever anyone in my family makes reference to praying or God or church. I told her no, I don’t believe in him. He’s the ultimate monster in the closet meant to scare kids. Problem is, there’s a lot of adults out there who believe the story.
I don’t know why I don’t believe in Satan. I surely think there’s evil in the world. How else do you explain work cubicles and jackass bosses? The world is bad, no doubt. But is there a mastermind behind it? No, I’m not talking about Rupert Murdoch.
What’s ironic is that so many of the born-again Christians seem, well, evil. The ones I’ve come across are narrow-minded hypocrites who must be masochistic because they think do unto others is an excuse to treat people badly.
Things are not good. We are at war. We have a hopeless deficit. The world hates us, and the animosity is growing with a bullet attached to it, Meanwhile, in the Sudan, God is nowhere to be found, and neither are we, the one place we should be.
Maybe God is too busy helping W make bad decisions. We couldn’t find OBL, so we wasted money and lives on Iraq, and now terrorists are multiplying like bunnies. Our surplus turned into a deficit. The economy is wobbling like a Weeble, the rich are getting richer thanks to W’s tax breaks and social mobility is a thing of the past for the rest of us schmoes.
Here’s a thought: maybe W is actually evil, and there is a God. God is “guiding” W, which is his way of paying back all of the Americans who voted for him.
This concludes today’s sermon. Now go have a cocktail.
