A brand spanking new year is just a couple of days away. At the end of every year, many of us, myself included, like to reflect on the past year and examine what is good in our life and what is not so good.
I work with several jackasses, that's not good. I lost weight, that's good. I'm tired of most people, that's probably not good, but I think anyone over 40 feels that way. I'm also tired of not having the money to always do what I want, that's just pathetic at my age. I have plenty of friends all over the country, that's good, but I don't have the time or money to go visit them. That's not good. They are starting to bug me to do so, which is not good. Pressure is bad, so if you are doing that, stop. You wanna see me, get your ass on a plane.
And now for the awful truth: I'm tired of blogging. If you've read this blog, you've got the basics of my average post. I hate George W. Bush, I hate all the neocons. I'm prochoice. I hate religion. I think that most people are jackasses, so much so that a year ago I started a blog to rant about them. I tried to be funny at all times, but I often (okay, very often) failed.
So, I'm going to make like a neocon and look out for #1, which means I'm taking a break. I'll be back eventually, and maybe I'll just blog every now and then till I feel like I have the time and energy, along with something to say, to come back on a regular basis.
You may have noticed that there are two bloggers on this site, the other being Ironhuff. A year ago I told Ironhuff I didn't want to shoulder this blog alone, and he agreed to help me. He wrote one post in the past year. Geez Ironhuff, I love you, but for God's sake, one post? You have too much to say not to blog, so here's a thought, why don't you keep the blog going for awhile? What else are you gonna do? Watch reruns of Buffy? Besides, you're smarter than me and can win arguments with Republicans much easier. Come on, people, let's chant, we want Ironhuff! We want Ironhuff!
Until I'm inspired to blog again, have a great 2006. As Arnold would say, I'll be back.
December 29, 2005
December 23, 2005
Binx Gets Her Way
Geez, I blog and bitch about the transit strike and it ends. My good friend AF tells me that the mayor quoted my blog in his announcement about the strike ending. It didn't really happen, but one of my New Year's resolutions is to be more delusional, so I've decided to embrace the lie.
So I'll be in NYC for the next few days, taking taxis, going shopping, eating great food, shivering in the cold, warming up with over=priced California cabernets, ignoring the fact that I could have stayed in Vegas, avoided the crowds at the airports and the freezing weather, while Vegas reaches highs of 70.
Have a great Xmas, and please, remember the true meaning of Xmas, the day after Xmas sales are killer, and New Year's Eve, the most sacred of all holidays, is just around the corner. Drink some champagne for me and stay warm.
So I'll be in NYC for the next few days, taking taxis, going shopping, eating great food, shivering in the cold, warming up with over=priced California cabernets, ignoring the fact that I could have stayed in Vegas, avoided the crowds at the airports and the freezing weather, while Vegas reaches highs of 70.
Have a great Xmas, and please, remember the true meaning of Xmas, the day after Xmas sales are killer, and New Year's Eve, the most sacred of all holidays, is just around the corner. Drink some champagne for me and stay warm.
December 22, 2005
Transit Strikers Need to Get Rolling
For someone who lives in Vegas, I’m abnormally interested in the NYC transit union strike, as it affects me directly. I’m going to NYC for Xmas. I had a lovely vacation planned: staying at the Ritz Carlton, taking cabs to Bergdorfs and Saks on Xmas Eve, shopping among the 5th Avenue masses, grabbing a glass of Cabernet somewhere nice for lunch, bitching about how cold NYC is and how could anyone live in this kind of weather. It can’t be good for your skin.
I’m the type of person who believes mass transit happens to other people, bad people. Not me. Yes, I’m a limousine democrat, unfortunately, I don’t have the limousine paycheck of Hollywood’s A-List to really qualify as one, but in spirit, I’m there. Just yesterday at work, I tried to get 90% of the office fired because I don’t like the way they dress. If I have to look at them, they could at least try to make an effort.
But I digress. Roger Toussaint, the Union President, who by the way is in serious need of some Queer Eye for the Straight Guy TLC, said that a “chief sticking point for the union has been the pension proposal to raise contributions to the pension plan for new workers from 2 percent to 6 percent.” The union contends it is woefully inadequate and would be impossible to accept.
Listen up, union guys, six percent is more than this limo-loving democrat gets, and oh, by the way, that’s just my 401 K, my company doesn’t offer a real pension plan. Why? Because they did their research and found that most companies don’t offer a pension plan anymore (it’s less than a 20% of all companies nationwide that do).
So is 2% low? Yes, it is, but get over it. So what if you have to get up at 3:00 am to haul trains into NYC. I’m up at 3:00 am fuming over the fact that my boss once again took credit for my work, left at 2:00 pm to go home because he was exhausted from cruising the Internet most of the work day, and then had the nerve to leave me with a parting shot of “try not to be so blonde.” We all have our cross to bear, except for the very rich, of which you aren’t among, so get off your high horse, suck it up and get those trains running.
When it comes to feeling under-appreciated and a sucky retirement plan, most of America is in your shoes. I’m in your shoes. Actually, I’m in my Ferragamo boots, which I’ve weatherproofed seeing as I’m going to have to haul my ass up and down NYC as there are no taxis to be found because everyone else is taking them. Thanks Union guys. I hope Santa leaves crappy gifts from Walmart under your tree.
I’m the type of person who believes mass transit happens to other people, bad people. Not me. Yes, I’m a limousine democrat, unfortunately, I don’t have the limousine paycheck of Hollywood’s A-List to really qualify as one, but in spirit, I’m there. Just yesterday at work, I tried to get 90% of the office fired because I don’t like the way they dress. If I have to look at them, they could at least try to make an effort.
But I digress. Roger Toussaint, the Union President, who by the way is in serious need of some Queer Eye for the Straight Guy TLC, said that a “chief sticking point for the union has been the pension proposal to raise contributions to the pension plan for new workers from 2 percent to 6 percent.” The union contends it is woefully inadequate and would be impossible to accept.
Listen up, union guys, six percent is more than this limo-loving democrat gets, and oh, by the way, that’s just my 401 K, my company doesn’t offer a real pension plan. Why? Because they did their research and found that most companies don’t offer a pension plan anymore (it’s less than a 20% of all companies nationwide that do).
So is 2% low? Yes, it is, but get over it. So what if you have to get up at 3:00 am to haul trains into NYC. I’m up at 3:00 am fuming over the fact that my boss once again took credit for my work, left at 2:00 pm to go home because he was exhausted from cruising the Internet most of the work day, and then had the nerve to leave me with a parting shot of “try not to be so blonde.” We all have our cross to bear, except for the very rich, of which you aren’t among, so get off your high horse, suck it up and get those trains running.
When it comes to feeling under-appreciated and a sucky retirement plan, most of America is in your shoes. I’m in your shoes. Actually, I’m in my Ferragamo boots, which I’ve weatherproofed seeing as I’m going to have to haul my ass up and down NYC as there are no taxis to be found because everyone else is taking them. Thanks Union guys. I hope Santa leaves crappy gifts from Walmart under your tree.
December 21, 2005
Charity on Behalf of The Republican Party
As 2005 winds down to a close, keep in mind that 2006 is an election year. Xmas is the time of giving (if you haven't given me my gift yet, Neiman Marcus is having a sale!) and what better way to give (beside giving me the gift of Prada) than by donating a check to the Democratic Party. But don't just donate: DONATE IN THE NAME OF A REPUBLICAN THAT YOU KNOW.
Write several smalls checks, say anywhere from $25-100 depending on your means, and write a note for each, saying, "Made on behalf of George W. Bush," or, "Made on behalf of Dumbass Low-Income Republican Who Thinks the GOP Is the Party of Jesus." Actually, how about this? "This $500 donation is made on behalf of Jesus H. Christ."
Did you ever wonder what the H stands for? It stands for Hermes. Little known fact: Jesus loved wearing Hermes scarves. I'm not implying the dude was a cross-dresser, but face it, in Bible illustrations, he's always wearing that same old plain white caftan.
Write several smalls checks, say anywhere from $25-100 depending on your means, and write a note for each, saying, "Made on behalf of George W. Bush," or, "Made on behalf of Dumbass Low-Income Republican Who Thinks the GOP Is the Party of Jesus." Actually, how about this? "This $500 donation is made on behalf of Jesus H. Christ."
Did you ever wonder what the H stands for? It stands for Hermes. Little known fact: Jesus loved wearing Hermes scarves. I'm not implying the dude was a cross-dresser, but face it, in Bible illustrations, he's always wearing that same old plain white caftan.
December 10, 2005
War on XMAS?
I hear that the Christian Right is all up in holy water over the so-called war on Xmas. I had no idea that people were trying to take away holiday sales and drunken office parties!
The other day, as I was having my annual holiday drunk fest with my local Xmas pals, Moshe, Alidad, and Moonflowerhobag, I said, “I hear there is a war on Xmas.” Moshe, Alidad, and Moonflowerhobag said, “What?” and I said, “Yeah, evidently, there are people who want to take away Xmas from us.”
They were flabbergasted.
“But the eggnog, the sales, the parties,” they countered, like a Greek chorus.
“I know. I hear it’s the liberals.”
My Xmas pals looked confused. “But we are the liberals.”
“It’s weird. Are there some of our liberal friends who want to banish Xmas?”
“And miss out on all the free booze?”
We all shrugged, sighed deeply, and then took a large gulp of our Cosmo.
“Where did this war on Xmas start?” I asked.
The wisest of my friends, Moonflowerhobag, looked at me as if I were a simple Evangelical Republican. “Oh Binx, don’t you know, the war on Xmas is a myth. It’s all about framing, and one of those evil marketers on the Right started it.
Moshe, Alidad and I all slapped our forehead and laughed. “Of course,” we said, Greek Chorus that we are.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Please, don’t forget that which is sacred on Sunday. Good sales.
Till I decide to blog again, have a happy holiday season, and please, kiss a Jew, Muslim, or hobag under the mistletoe for me.
The other day, as I was having my annual holiday drunk fest with my local Xmas pals, Moshe, Alidad, and Moonflowerhobag, I said, “I hear there is a war on Xmas.” Moshe, Alidad, and Moonflowerhobag said, “What?” and I said, “Yeah, evidently, there are people who want to take away Xmas from us.”
They were flabbergasted.
“But the eggnog, the sales, the parties,” they countered, like a Greek chorus.
“I know. I hear it’s the liberals.”
My Xmas pals looked confused. “But we are the liberals.”
“It’s weird. Are there some of our liberal friends who want to banish Xmas?”
“And miss out on all the free booze?”
We all shrugged, sighed deeply, and then took a large gulp of our Cosmo.
“Where did this war on Xmas start?” I asked.
The wisest of my friends, Moonflowerhobag, looked at me as if I were a simple Evangelical Republican. “Oh Binx, don’t you know, the war on Xmas is a myth. It’s all about framing, and one of those evil marketers on the Right started it.
Moshe, Alidad and I all slapped our forehead and laughed. “Of course,” we said, Greek Chorus that we are.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Please, don’t forget that which is sacred on Sunday. Good sales.
Till I decide to blog again, have a happy holiday season, and please, kiss a Jew, Muslim, or hobag under the mistletoe for me.
December 09, 2005
W.W.J.S?
You may have heard by now of the Where Would Jesus Shop campaign unveiled on Thursday by wakeupwalmart.com. The group says Wal-Mart's policy over wages, health benefits and other issues harm families and communities. In other words, Jesus wouldn’t like it. By the way, that kind of marketing is what the evil genius Karl Rove calls framing an issue, or, spinning your message in a language that appeals to the people you are targeting. Spinning with a Jesus bent always appeals to evangelical Republicans, also known as Walmart Shoppers.
Walmart responded to the campaign, saying it provides working families with a place to save. Personally, when I can’t afford to shop at Neiman Marcus, I turn to that other low cost leader, Nordstroms. You don’t see them the butt of any W.W.J.S campaign.
America needs to say no to Walmart not just because they pay their workers low wages, don’t offer proper health insurance . . . wait a second, is my employer owned by Walmart? Anyway, Walmart has done more to contribute to the white trashing of America than my own relatives – and we’re from Mississippi, the trendsetters in what is white trash.
So please, boycott Walmart. There’s only room for one white trash conglomerate in this country, and my family was here first.
Walmart responded to the campaign, saying it provides working families with a place to save. Personally, when I can’t afford to shop at Neiman Marcus, I turn to that other low cost leader, Nordstroms. You don’t see them the butt of any W.W.J.S campaign.
America needs to say no to Walmart not just because they pay their workers low wages, don’t offer proper health insurance . . . wait a second, is my employer owned by Walmart? Anyway, Walmart has done more to contribute to the white trashing of America than my own relatives – and we’re from Mississippi, the trendsetters in what is white trash.
So please, boycott Walmart. There’s only room for one white trash conglomerate in this country, and my family was here first.
December 03, 2005
God Must Hate W
Contrary to what W’s 40% base thinks, God doesn’t like that little shifty-eyed cowboy from Connecticut. I think the big guy is doing a little retribution on the religious right, giving them signals that he’s quite displeased.
First off, and most importantly, he allowed Michael Vartan to be killed off Alias, then he let Alias get cancelled. I’ve decided the only way to relieve that grief is with Prozac. Stay tuned for more interesting blogs. Secondly, Epsilon is a record 15th hurricane we’ve had this season. 15 hurricanes. If that’s not God saying that W is full of hot air, I don’t know what is. Next, global warming is melting the Artic ice so fast, that it is changing sea routes, which may start a territorial dispute between the US and Canada. Hello, we’re going to be fighting with Canada! Fighting with Iraq and all those other women-are-bad countries is one thing, fighting with the homeland of Michael J. Fox is another.
So, as I’ve said before, if you voted for Bush, you owe the rest of the country an apology. And this time, as W himself would say (incorrectly), I have God on my side to prove it.
First off, and most importantly, he allowed Michael Vartan to be killed off Alias, then he let Alias get cancelled. I’ve decided the only way to relieve that grief is with Prozac. Stay tuned for more interesting blogs. Secondly, Epsilon is a record 15th hurricane we’ve had this season. 15 hurricanes. If that’s not God saying that W is full of hot air, I don’t know what is. Next, global warming is melting the Artic ice so fast, that it is changing sea routes, which may start a territorial dispute between the US and Canada. Hello, we’re going to be fighting with Canada! Fighting with Iraq and all those other women-are-bad countries is one thing, fighting with the homeland of Michael J. Fox is another.
So, as I’ve said before, if you voted for Bush, you owe the rest of the country an apology. And this time, as W himself would say (incorrectly), I have God on my side to prove it.
Homophobic Ford
If you aren’t familiar with the American Family Association (AFA), here’s all you need to know: they are anti-gay. Recently, they scolded Ford Motor Company for advertising the Jaguar and Land Rover in gay publications. What did Ford do? Fold like a cheap deck of cards. They are pulling ads out of those publications.
What the AFA has neglected to realize is something Ford, and everyone in the advertising world, already knows: Gays have money. They are wonderful, fabulous capitalists who love to spend, spend, spend. The fact that Ford chose to advertise its two most pricey products in gay mags proves that.
In fact, I wonder, does Ford advertise the pricey Jaguar and Land Rover in Right Wing Wackado Christian Fundamental magazines? Somehow, I doubt it. I can’t say for sure since life is short and I don’t want to waste precious moments reading what really amounts to nothing more than a bad mixture of neo-nazi literature and fairy tales.
What the AFA has neglected to realize is something Ford, and everyone in the advertising world, already knows: Gays have money. They are wonderful, fabulous capitalists who love to spend, spend, spend. The fact that Ford chose to advertise its two most pricey products in gay mags proves that.
In fact, I wonder, does Ford advertise the pricey Jaguar and Land Rover in Right Wing Wackado Christian Fundamental magazines? Somehow, I doubt it. I can’t say for sure since life is short and I don’t want to waste precious moments reading what really amounts to nothing more than a bad mixture of neo-nazi literature and fairy tales.
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