I hear that the Christian Right is all up in holy water over the so-called war on Xmas. I had no idea that people were trying to take away holiday sales and drunken office parties!
The other day, as I was having my annual holiday drunk fest with my local Xmas pals, Moshe, Alidad, and Moonflowerhobag, I said, “I hear there is a war on Xmas.” Moshe, Alidad, and Moonflowerhobag said, “What?” and I said, “Yeah, evidently, there are people who want to take away Xmas from us.”
They were flabbergasted.
“But the eggnog, the sales, the parties,” they countered, like a Greek chorus.
“I know. I hear it’s the liberals.”
My Xmas pals looked confused. “But we are the liberals.”
“It’s weird. Are there some of our liberal friends who want to banish Xmas?”
“And miss out on all the free booze?”
We all shrugged, sighed deeply, and then took a large gulp of our Cosmo.
“Where did this war on Xmas start?” I asked.
The wisest of my friends, Moonflowerhobag, looked at me as if I were a simple Evangelical Republican. “Oh Binx, don’t you know, the war on Xmas is a myth. It’s all about framing, and one of those evil marketers on the Right started it.
Moshe, Alidad and I all slapped our forehead and laughed. “Of course,” we said, Greek Chorus that we are.
Tomorrow is Sunday. Please, don’t forget that which is sacred on Sunday. Good sales.
Till I decide to blog again, have a happy holiday season, and please, kiss a Jew, Muslim, or hobag under the mistletoe for me.
