January 23, 2005

Not Your Daddy’s Same Old Neocon

In last Thursday’s inaugural speech, Bush proclaimed that the main goal of his second term would be the promotion of democracy “in every nation and culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny in our world.” This, of course, is a key neoconservative goal.

Robert Kagan, a leading exponent of neocon philosophy said, “it would be hard to express it more clearly. If people were expecting Bush to rein in his ambitions and enthusiasms after the first term, they are discovering that they were wrong.”

Mr. Kagan, is there anyone out there who actually thought that Bush would rein in his ambitions during the second term? This is precisely why we didn’t want him reelected. The man has a serious Jones going for spreading HIS agenda throughout the world. Bush will not be happy till Osama is wearing cowboy boots and having dinner with Jesus.

Bush hasn’t always been such a neocon. It took him the better part of his first term to learn how to spell it, and since he doesn’t read, that posed a challenge. Then there was the whole thing about the true definition of neocon. That took some explaining!
When he first ran for president in 2000, Condoleeza Rice, then his top foreign policy advisor, wrote an article promising that Bush would pursue a modest, limited foreign policy, and criticized the attempts at democratization and "nation-building" of the Democratic administration of President Clinton. Uh-huh. Like Clinton invaded Kosova because it was the epicenter of terrorist intentions against the USA. Ah, if only he had picked up Clinton’s zealous habits, cigar stomping young plump interns, groping skanky office assistants and flight attendants.

Even Rice, the only black lesbian to be a Republican in history, is confessing her boy’s true intentions. At her confirmation hearings this week, Rice named six countries as "outposts of tyranny" that needed to tow the line or incur the wrath of the Bush administration: Cuba, Burma, North Korea, Iran, Belarus and Zimbabwe. Look, I think North Korea and Iran need a nice kick in the ass, but I can’t tell you how thrilled I am about Belarus. That’s all anyone ever talks about these days. Belarus, Belarus, Belarus. It’s the Marsha Brady of the tyrannical world. Question: if we’ve moved from an axis of evil to six countries, what’s the new name for this? Six maux selon Bush?